Operation Seduce Sirius
by Joou-sama
Summary: Remus loves Sirius, but Sirius is too dense to realize he loves Remus back. So what better than to make him jealous? With a little loving help from James of course. Main couple: RLSB Other: JPRL JPLE. Slash.
1. Prologue

**A/N:**

**I dedicate this one to my darling beta and plot-bunny for this story: _LaFilleSurLePont_ (yes she hands me a plot and then I get to write it in my own way ;)**

**The Plot: Remus is in love with Sirius and James is the only one who knows. Now he has devised a plan to get Sirius jealous, in order to make the boy's real feelings towards Remus show.**

**Couples: LMxRL, JPxRL, SBxRL (don't worry Remus isn't actually a slut in this fic.) and of course JPxLE (how could it not be.)**

**Before we begin, I disclaim. I own nothing but my own fantasies. **

**This one is rated M for up-coming chapters, so don't fret :)**

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**Operation Seduce Sirius**

"You're _GAY_!"

Remus Lupin and James Potter were sitting alone in their dorm at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Remus slowly nodded, not taking his eyes off the floor. When he finally looked up, he couldn't help but snort. His friend, James, was making a face that made you wonder whether it was a boy sitting in front of you, or a fish.

"Prongs…?"

James snapped out of his bewildered state. "Huh?"

"You are awfully quiet…" Remus was nervous, and James could tell.

"Yeah, yeah. I was only thinking." He smiled reassuringly, making Remus feel more at ease.

"So.. you don't like.. think I'm weird or anything?"

James choked on his laughter. "Moony! You are a freaking werewolf! And a gay werewolf for that matter! How much weirder can it get?"

Remus couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm not making life any easier am I?"

"It wouldn't be as much fun then would it?" James replied, smirking. Then he suddenly grew more serious, and looked straight at Remus.

"How long have you known? I mean, it's not something you wake up and just realize someday is it? How… did you find out?"

Remus sighed. He knew this was coming.

"Well, I guess I've known for a while. But, if you must know, it was in the end of 4th year." He hesitated, blushing. ".. Lucius Malfoy shoving his tongue down my throat and me not minding so much was kind of an eye-opener.."

"WHAT?" James eyes were as big as saucers. "You _snogged_ Lucius Malfoy! How long did _that_ go on! And – How come WE never found out?" James made his way to stand up. "Wait until Padfoot hears about thi-"

"No!" Remus tugged on James robes, not letting him leave the room. "You mustn't let Wormtail or Padfoot know! _Please _James. I'll let _you_ know, but I'm not ready to tell them yet.."

James calmed down, seeing the look of panic on Remus's face, and sat down on the bed again. Remus continued.

"It didn't go on that long you know.." There was a hint of sadness in Remus's voice. "He decided to end it in the middle of our 5th year. – Said it was too much of a risk." He snorted. "His reputation you know?"

James couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy. "I'm so sorry Remus.." he said, putting his hand on Remus's shoulder.

Remus smiled at the gentleness of his friend.

"I know you never liked him. I'm not sure that _I_ ever liked him. But he was, well, gorgeous..." – James shuddered- -Remus ignored him- "And besides... It was probably for the best, with him graduating that year and all." He fell silent.

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"So did you two.. err.. you know?"

"What? Oh. _Oh._ Oh _god_ no!" Remus flushed. "I mean, we did more than just _snogging_, but you know as well as I do– A werewolf mates for life.." Remus turned his gaze towards the sheets, his voice suddenly filled with emotion. "And there's kind of... someone else.."

"Huh? Moony's in _love_?" James mocked, smiling. Though by the fuming look on Remus's face his mocking abruptly came to a halt.

"Err, anyways, who's the lucky guy?" he winked, eyes twinkling.

"Srrrs…" Remus murmured, blushing furiously.

"Sorry mate didn't quite catch that?"

Remus tried again but only muffled words came out.

"Say again?"

"I- am- in- love- with- Sirius- fucking- Black!" Remus forced out between clenched teeth.

"..Sirius?.. _Our_ Sirius! Padfoot?"

Remus glared.

"_Oh_." James looked rather thrown at this statement, then patted his friend on his shoulder. "Yeah Moony, you are right." Remus gave him a quizzical look. "You don't make life easy on yourself, do you?"

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**A/N: Ok that was the first chapter. Hope you liked it! Sorry for it being so short, but I had to divide my original into two parts. But on the bright side, chapter 2 will be up soon ;P**

**Please R/R I would be so happy! Pretty pretty _please!_**


	2. Phase 01: Jealousy

**A/N:**

**I dedicate this one to my darling beta and plot-bunny for this story  LaFilleSurLePont (yes she hands me a plot and then I get to write it in my own way ;)**

**The Plot: Remus is in love with Sirius and James is the only one who knows. Now he has devised a plan to get Sirius jealous, in order to make the boy's real feelings towards Remus show.**

**Couples: LMxRL, JPxRL, SBxRL (don't worry Remus isn't actually a slut in this fic.) and of course JPxLE (how could it not be.)**

**Before we begin, I disclaim. I own nothing but my own fantasies. **

**This one is rated M for up-coming chapters, so don't fret :)**

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**Operation Seduce Sirius**

'_So Remus was in love with Sirius. Poor bloke.' _ James sighed.

Actually, he couldn't blame the boy. Sirius Black was the school heartthrob, his long dark hair glistening with every shift, deep grey eyes filled with emotion (or lack thereof), and a body which had been, quite nicely, formed by years of Quidditch. But- James sighed again- it seemed like he almost was quite oblivious of it, well, if you put a little more weight on the _almost_.

'_Of course Sirius is aware of his appearances. How could he not be? With all those lust filled looks from the majority of the girls, and at least a couple of boys..'_  
James hadn't put much thought in why Sirius hadn't had more relationships or girlfriends. Obviously, he was able to. It was only after Remus had told him about his unfortunate crush that James had noticed more and more about the behavior of his best friend.

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"Remus, I can't get this one straight!"  
The four Marauders sat in the Gryffindor common room, practicing a spell for their next Charms lesson.

"Sirius, for the last time, don't fling your wand around like you are trying to kill a fly! It is a soft movement and a flick." Remus was exasperated, but smiling. "Sometimes I wonder how you manage to get top grades in class, but when we're practicing you act like a complete dolt. _Or_, you are just trying to annoy me."

"And succeeding I hope?"

"As always."

"Good, I was beginning to think I'd lost my touch."

"Could never happen." Remus gave his smirking friend an affectionate smile.

"Well," Sirius made his way to stand up. "I'm feeling a bit peckish. Think I'm gonna go and make a visit to the kitchens. Anyone wants to come with me?"

James shook his head. Peter, opening his mouth to speak, was abruptly cut of by Sirius.  
"Moony, you want to come with me? Pretty _please."_ Remus looked up into his friends eyes. _'Those dark beautiful eyes.. gah.. he's puppy-eyeing me! Damn him. He knows I never can refuse him when he does that.'_

"Eh.. sure. Not like I'll be able not to. You persistent bastard.."

"Yay! You're so nice Moony!" He helped Remus get to his feet, smiling "Wait, you got a smudge on your nose."

"Hmpf." Remus made his way to remove it.

"Just stand still, I'll get it." Sirius licked his finger –_'Can't he do anything without looking like a sex god?'- _and gently started to rub the smudge off. Remus closed his eyes in frustration.  
"Isn't it gone yet?" He tried to sound annoyed, but it was very hard. It always was whenever Sirius was touching him- hard being annoyed, that is.

"Hmm.. not yet. I think I need more saliva."

"Wha- EWWW SIRIUS BLACK I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" he started to chase his friend across the common room, jumping over startled students in the process. Apparently Sirius thought of "more saliva" meant licking Remus all over his face. Sirius on the other hand barked with laughter, darted out of the common room, and ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards the kitchen, with Remus quick on his tail.

"Poor Remus." Peter sniggered. "It can't be nice to get licked all over by Sirius, dog breath and all."

James half- sniggered half- snorted. _'I really don't think he minds too much.'_ True to his word, James hadn't told Peter or Sirius about their forth member's sexual preferences.

"But"- Peter continued- "it's not like Padfoot doesn't lick him whenever he gets the chance, so he must be used to it by now."

James smiled. What Peter said had made a lot of sense. _'He _is_ more affectionate in the touchy-feely kind of way towards Moony than he is towards Wormtail and me.'_  
Deciding that this needed some serious pondering he said good night to Peter and went up to the dorm.

In half an hour of contemplating James had come to several conclusions. Number one, Sirius _did_ touch Remus in very affectionate kind of ways. Like stroking his hair, giving him massages after the full moon, and of course the excessive licking and snuggling whenever he transformed into his animagus form. Number two, Sirius hadn't had a serious relationship in over a _year_, ever since he broke up with that Ravenclaw girl, in the beginning of their 5th year.

James mentally kicked himself. How come he hadn't seen all this before! It seemed like when it came to love and relationships, the Marauders were quite oblivious. At least if they weren't shouting it out, like he did when it came to Lily. Well, things were going to change.

As number three, he decided that this needed a little further investigation. And yes. The smug smile on his face was still there when he fell asleep.

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James sat down by two of the Marauders at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. It was late in November, and nearly a week had passed since "The Licking Incident." James had spent the last week studying his black-haired friend and come to the conclusion that, whether Sirius was in love with Remus, he was either to thick to realize it himself, or he was a damn good liar. James stuck to the first one. If Padfoot was in love with Moony, he surely would've talked to James about it. They did not have many secrets between them.

"Hey Prongs."

James yawned. "Hullo Padfoot, Wormtail."

"Where's Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Err.. I dunno, he was behind me when I entered the hall. Guess he- Oi! Padfoot are you even listening?"  
Turning around, James saw why Sirius had suddenly adopted a menacing look which reeked of "I-shall-cause-you-endless-pain-and-suffering."

Remus was standing in the Great Hall doorway, talking to two, rather cute, 5th year girls, which James couldn't recall the names of.  
He looked back at Sirius. His lips were pursed tightly together, and his eyes were shining…

'_Jealousy? Is he jealous of Remus?'_ No, James thought, he couldn't be. If James didn't know the names of the two girls, then Sirius surely did not. Then all that was left was..

'_Remus...'_  
James had never smiled more mischievously before in his life, and that was saying something. _'Oh Padfoot you are so busted.'_

But just as he was about to speak, Sirius abruptly stood up from his chair and stalked over to Remus and the, now giggling, girls.

"Are these two," he made an arrogant flick with his hand towards the girls, "..bothering you, Moony?" Remus looked questioning at the boy. The girls blushed.

"No Padfoot, we were just talking really."

"Hmpf. About what, exactly?" He hadn't even so much as glanced at the girls who were now deep in a whispering conversation.

"Err.. about _you_.. actually." Remus looked down on the floor. "They were wondering if you had a, err.. girlfriend."

"Oh." Sirius seemed kind of taken aback at this sudden exclamation. Though able to keep his cool he turned over to the now fully blushing girls and beamed his most charming "We-learn this-before-we-learn-how-to-walk-when-you-are-a-member-of-The-Most-Noble-House-of-Black-smile."

"_Oh."_ He flung his hair over his shoulders, making the girls blush even more. "Well, you can tell them, Moony. That Sirius Black is most certainly single." The girls giggled.

James sat and watched the turn of events with outmost interest.  
'_A jealous Padfoot, may be a good sign. Padfoot being an arrogant prick towards the girls, well, a good sign for Moony if anything…A nervous Moony dropping his gaze to the floor, **not**_ _a good sign…Sirius putting his arm over Moony's shoulders, good sign if Padfoot wasn't flinging his hair and smiling like **that** towards those girls…girls giggling…_ _**definitely** a bad sign.'_

James decided that it was about time he made an entrance, if only to prevent Sirius from doing something that his subconscious mind didn't want him to do; Hurt Moony's feelings.  
But as he was walking towards the group, he suddenly thought of something completely different.

'_Jealousy.'_ A plan was forming in his mind. _'Sirius had only acted like he wanted Remus when he was jealous, when someone was threatening to take Moony away from him..'_ He smirked. Well, if jealousy was the way to go, then James would definitely make Sirius jealous.  
'_Oh, the things you wouldn't do to make your friends happy.' _

He stuck his hands into his pockets, and started to walk past his friends, laughing like a maniac at his own wittiness. Not just a few heads (including the ones of his friends) turned to look at him as he made his way out of the Great Hall, thinking that the day had finally come. The day when James Potter had gone completely nutters.

He was still laughing, maniacally, when he heard a voice coming from behind.

"James Potter! What could possibly be so funny that you decided to disturb everyone's meals?" James swung around, his hand making for his hair, ruffling it. Lily Evans was glaring at him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Oh, nothing in particular m'lady." Lily just scowled.  
Knowing that it would be a while, depending on the thickness of his friend Padfoot, before he could make a move on the red- headed love of his life, James just smiled.

"I must say, Evans, that your beauty bewilders me." And with that, he turned around, flinging his robes dramatically behind him, and walked off.

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**Yes! That was Phase 02. Phase 03 is currently in beta. Or what you now call it.**

**A big THANK YOU to all who reviewed :) Please do the same for chapter 2! Made me so happy! -hugs to all-  
**


	3. Phase 02: The Plan

**A/N:**

**I dedicate this one to my darling beta and plot-bunny for this story "LaFilleSurLePont" (yes she hands me a plot and then I get to write it in my own way ;)**

**The Plot: Remus is in love with Sirius and James is the only one who knows. Now he has devised a plan to get Sirius jealous, in order to make the boy's real feelings towards Remus show.**

**Couples: LMxRL, JPxRL, SBxRL (don't worry Remus isn't actually a slut in this fic.) and of course JPxLE (how could it not be.)**

**Before we begin, I disclaim. I own nothing but my own fantasies. **

**This one is rated M for up-coming chapters, so don't fret :) **

**FYI: I think this will be a 5-6 chapter-story. Haven't really decided yet. Please let me know if you think the pace is too fast or too slow! All reviews are truly appreciated :)**

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**Operation Seduce Sirius**

"We have to do something spectacular, something out of the ordinary, something.."

"Smelly?"

"Yes, Wormtail. Something smelly." James scowled, but smiled at his friend.

"Nothing too out of the ordinary with that, eh Prongs?" Sirius said, while having an evil, yet bemused look on his face.

"Shut up you twit." James was deep in his thoughts. The three Marauders were sitting huddled up at their favourite table in the Gryffindor common room.

Sirius had come up to James earlier that night and given him an offer he simply could not refuse. Sirius wanted to get rid of some tension by doing a prank against the Slytherins, and at the same time get some new information of the Hogwarts grounds for their Map. In reality, James was as eager as his friend to hoax the fellow house. The Marauders hadn't schemed for ages it seemed, and James needed his fix.

"What if we hit them where it would hurt the most?" Sirius bemused look had turned into one of _pure_ evil by now. James caught on to the idea immediately.

"Like, their exquisite nesting place, per say?"

"Exactly Prongs my dear pal." Sirius was grinning widely. "In fact, we are probably doing them a favor by adding a few dungbombs to the smell down there. Merlin knows they are in desperate need of a break from the otherwise foul stench that surrounds them _every single day_."

"They might send a 'thank you'-note even!"

"I wouldn't go to such extreme lengths, Wormtail. But one can only hope."

They continued scheming in hushed voices until a thud and a heavy sigh startled them out of their plotting. Remus had banged a big, tattered book on the table in front of them.

"Here!" He did not look happy. "I got you your ruddy book." He rubbed his temples, frowning.

"Thanks Moony. You're the best! Madame Pince would've never let one of us borrow it. Only _you,_ Remus.."

Remus looked up, a little uncertainly. James's voice had been gentle. A little _too_ gentle. James on the other hand chose to ignore the look, and smiled.

'_Dungbombing the Slytherins can wait. For now I have another plot to set into motion..'_ His smile turned into a wicked one.

"I guess.." Remus replied hesitantly. "But she was a real nag about it, gave me a bloody head-ache."

Sirius mouth opened in order to speak, but before he even got one syllable out, James seized his opportunity.

"Oh Remus." He'd put on a face of pure concern. A look that none of the Marauders had seen on his face ever so often. "Come here and I'll give you a massage."_  
This_ statement, however, made Sirius head turn. Remus too, found it rather confusing. Usually it was Sirius that made the offer, but he obliged none the less. Sitting down on the floor in front of his friend he felt gentle fingers run through his hair, rubbing his scalp. He couldn't help but let out an appreciative growl, all to James's amusement.

"You're gonna scratch behind his ears too?"

Remus opened an eye to look at a glaring Sirius.

"No, of course not Padfoot." James replied as if he hadn't heard the sarcasm dripping from Sirius's words. "Well, only if Remus _wants_ me too?"

"Er... no thanks." Remus purred at James's touch. "It's quite nice as it is actually."

Feeling rather confident at his friends' reactions, James decided to take things even further. He worked his way downwards, "accidentally" touching Remus's cheeks in the process, and started on the boy's neck instead. He leaned close, and brushed his nose against Remus's neck, making his victim shiver. Even though Remus found this odd, he decided not to comment on James's proceedings. It felt so nice and he didn't want it to stop just yet. Sirius on the other hand, did not hesitate one second.

"James." His voice was stern.

James turned his gaze upwards. "Yes?"

"A word please." He cocked his head to the side, stating that they go somewhere else to chat.

"Sure."

As soon as they were beyond the reach of their friend's "werewolf hearing", Sirius abruptly turned around.

"_What the hell was that all about_?" he hissed.

James, acting as he didn't have a clue what the black-haired boy was referring to, just shrugged.

"What was what all about, Padfoot?"

"Don't patronize me, Prongs." His voice turned dangerously low. "You've been acting differently towards Moony for the last couple of days now."

"Different? What do you mean _different?"_ Not letting his mask of ignorance slip. On the inside, James was in fact doing some kind of victory-dance.

'_So the little bugger had noticed after all. This is going to be interesting..'_ He had to restrain himself with all his might to keep himself from smirking.

"You know what I mean!" Sirius spat. "You've been strangely gentle with him. Touching him and.. _hugging_ him, and.. and just now! Giving him massages and stuff!"

"So?" James cocked a quizzical eyebrow at his friend.

"So!" Sirius was loosing his temper. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

James decided he didn't have the strength to bicker right now. He patted his friend on his shoulder. "Maybe I just like Remus okay?"  
Sirius didn't have time to reply as Remus voice shouted out to them.

"Hey you guys? I'm leaving Peter here. He's drooling on a book and looks so.. er..cute.. that I don't want to wake him. I'm off to bed, are you coming?"

"Just a sec, Moony!" James answered. He turned back to look at Sirius, who was eyeing him with a mixed look of confusion and anger.

"Coming with me, Padfoot?"  
Instead of answering, Sirius shot James a glowering stare before turning around, making his way out of the common room. James shrugged and went to join Remus.

"Where did Sirius go?"

"He just needed to stretch his legs a bit." He lied. Deciding that it was about time to let Remus in on the plan, he pushed open the door to their dorm. "Remus, I think it's about time I let you in on a little secret of mine. Sit down, please."  
Not entirely liking the smug look on the ruffled-haired boy's face, Remus reluctantly sat down to listen.

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James told Remus all about what he had seen and heard ever since Remus had told him his secret, and all about Sirius actions and reactions during their time together. Remus however did not look convinced.

"Prongs.."

"Moony just hear me out, okay?" James interrupted. He needed to convince Remus. Without his consent the plan would be an utter failure. And James did not accept failures. "I know I'm right about this. Hell, _you_ know I'm right about this!" He locked eyes with the boy sitting in front of him. "You've only been too occupied trying to conceal you feelings for Sirius that you haven't noticed how he acts when he is around you."  
Remus drew his breath, letting it out in a heavy sigh. "Okay I can, _maybe_, agree with you on that part. But I'm still not convinced James. I mean.. I don't understand. How can Sirius be in love with me but not _know_ about it?"

James paused, thinking about how to explain this particular conundrum. "To be honest, even I can't tell you how the thick brain of Sirius Black works. But I know his body language, his actions, and the words he uses to cover up the ones he really wants to say. And everything he does points at the same thing- _you._"

"But-"

"But nothing." James knew he had it in the bag, sort to speak. He had always been good at reading people. This was probably one reason why he had gotten so smitten with Lily Evans in the first place, she was unreadable to him. A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"And that leaves me to part two of my ingenious plan."  
Remus wasn't sure he wanted to know what part two meant, but shut his mouth just the same.

"You see," James continued in a teacher-like tone, making Remus snigger. "It has come to my knowledge, that Padfoot only reveals his true feelings out in the open for –James snorted- the whole bloody _world _to see, when he gets the outrageous feeling of… _jealousy._" He started pacing around the room, hands behind his back. "Do you remember a couple of days ago, when you were talking to two Ravenclaws in the Great Hall, and that little 'stunt' Sirius pulled?" Remus nodded, clearly wondering what James was getting at. "I watched Sirius the whole time. And that's how I knew."

"But Sirius wasn't-" Remus started, only to get interrupted again.

"Au contraire, Moony dear. He most certainly was. Sirius Black saw you talking to two cute girls, and became most jealous. Not because _he_ wanted to be the one talking to the girls, but because he thought those girls were flirting with _you._"

"But they weren't!" Remus voice hinted of desperation.

"No they weren't. But didn't you notice how Sirius's behavior changed when _he_ found out about that?"

Remus feebly shook his head. _'Jealous.. he couldn't be.. but James.. he says he knows.. it does make sense, kind of..'_

"Well his behavior _did_ change." James continued, still pacing around the dormitory. "_His_ Moony, talking to two giggling girls, makes a _jealous_ Padfoot. Him making sure the girls don't want _his_ Moony, makes a thick, but content, Padfoot." James stopped and grinned at him. "I don't even want to imagine the horror if he'd ever found out about you and Malfoy."

Remus couldn't help but chuckle. "Me neither Prongs. But what do you suggest we do?"

"I-" Now he could definitely see the wicked glint in James's eyes. "-suggest that wemake him _really_ jealous."

"And how do we do that?" Remus couldn't keep the smirk of his face.  
James slowly moved closer, until he was situated between the sitting boy's legs, and raised Remus's chin with his hand. "Like _this._"

Neither of them could hold their gaze for long before they both toppled over on the bed, howling with laughter.  
Finally James found the strength to compose himself. He sat up, still chuckling, and wiped of a tear from his eye. "So I take it you like the idea?"

"Bloody brilliant." Remus managed to hiss between his fits of laughter. "And even if it doesn't work, I still get to snog the _infamous_ ladies-man James Potter." He had to hold his arms around his stomach because he was laughing so hard.

"HEY!" James chuckled, and threw a pillow at his whimpering friend. "Who said anything about _snogging!_ Knowing where your lips have been..." They gave each other a knowing stare, before bursting into another fit of laughter.

And that was how Sirius found them when he entered the dorm a couple of minutes later. He stood dumbfounded for a second, staring at the scene before him, slowly raising an eyebrow.

"What's so funny?"

Startled by their friends entrance both boys quickly tried to compose themselves. Remus was much better at it than James. Glasses askew he managed to chortle "No- nothing Padf- We were just talking." Remus however was already standing, looking as calm as ever, and walked over to his own bed.

"Yeah it was nothing, Padfoot, really. I'm beat. Let's get some sleep shall we?" And with that he shoved his curtains shut. James did the same, leaving a confused Sirius standing in the middle.

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Sirius hadn't been this bored since he was forced to spend Christmas at home. Alone. With no one but their house-elf Kreacher as company.

Professor Binns was rambling on and on about some war that had been fought somewhere, at sometime, in some different country. As you might have noticed, Sirius wasn't paying much attention to what his teacher was saying. Lifting his head from where it had been resting on the desk he scanned the room. Some students had dozed off, others where trying to take notes, and someone, his eyes shot open, was in the process of caressing the leg of none other than Remus Lupin.

'_What the bloody hell? Why- WHY is Prongs running his bloody foot up and down Moony's bloody leg?'_

Sirius eyes narrowed as he watched the two boys sitting at the desk in front of him. He watched as James's foot kept stroking, kept trying to get underneath the fabric of Remus's trousers. It went on for ages it seemed. He didn't even notice when all of the students got up from their seats, marking the end of the lesson. And _everyone_ always noticed the end of Professor Binns's class.

"Padfoot?"

"Huh?" His gaze still on the spot where James and Remus's legs had been.

"The bell, class is finished." Peter stated. "Well, I have to go to my lesson. See you later in Transfiguration." He said, as he skidded of to his Care of Magical Creatures class.

"Right." Sirius felt weird. Like something wasn't right, but he couldn't figure out what it was. He forced himself up from his chair, collecting his bag. "Right. What class is up next Prongs?"

"Potions." James said, as plainly as ever.

"Right." He couldn't really figure out why he had adopted the word 'right' to use in every single sentence. When clearly, things were not "right".

"Sirius?" Sirius snapped out of it at the use of his real name.

"Yeah Moony? Is something wrong?" _'How can Remus look so normal? His leg being molested just a minute ago by that prat!'_ he narrowed his eyes and shot a glare at James.

"Er.. I was just gonna ask you the same thing.. You look kind of flustered, and, like you're about to murder someone."

Sirius quickly pulled himself together. "What? No, er.. everything is quite alright, I assure you." He forced himself to smile at his friends. "Potions next you say? You two go ahead, I seem to have misplaced my book. I'll catch up with you." He scurried of.

'_Maybe James's foot was itchy, _really_ itchy.' _Sirius couldn't get the scene out of his head. '_And Remus is so timid. He wouldn't say anything even if it made him uncomfortable. Yes. That's probably it. James's foot was itchy and it made Remus uncomfortable but he didn't say anything. Yes!'_ he walked off towards the dungeons feeling a little bit better, and thinking about how much he loved reasonable explanations.

James and Remus watched as their friend scampered off in the opposite direction.

"Do you think he noticed?" Remus asked a little uncertainly.

"Are you KIDDING me?" James turned to look at the werewolf. "Did you not _see_ his reaction! That boy totally wants you. I actually _feared_ for my life at one point."

"Bah! You did not."

"Okay I didn't. But I would have, if only Padfoot knew he is in love with you."

"True enough, I guess.."

And they walked, arms linked together, thinking about what would be their next step. According to James, this had only been a test drive, and it was now that the fun _really_ began.

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**A/N: And there you had it. Chapter 3 all finished :) **

**Once again a HUGE (and by that I mean humongous) thank you to all who reviewed! My first fic has only got 4 R&R, and this has gotten about 40. I'm speechless. Cheers Mates Thanks A Lot! (And keep on reviewing ;) and let me know if you're missing something or whatever, anything really, mails are also very much appreciated.)**

– **hugs to all- **

**Btw, I'm thinking about posting some fanart at DevianArt (username: Cheersmatethanksalot) Got my account a couple of days ago. I haven't finished the pictures for this fic yet though.. only got one pic on DAcom so far. Let me know what you think! Awell enough with the rambling. I'm really slow with cap. 4, but I'm trying to make it a good one. Bare with me.  
**


	4. Phase 03: The Battle of the Hands

**A/N:  
I dedicate this one to my darling beta and plot-bunny for this story "LaFilleSurLePont" (yes she hands me a plot and then I get to write it in my own way ;)   
**

**The Plot: Remus is in love with Sirius and James is the only one who knows. Now he has devised a plan to get Sirius jealous, in order to make the boy's real feelings towards Remus show.  
Couples: LMxRL, JPxRL, SBxRL (don't worry Remus isn't actually a slut in this fic.) and of course JPxLE (how could it not be.)   
Before we begin, I disclaim. I own nothing but my own fantasies.   
This one is rated M for up-coming chapters (-cough-next chapter hopefully-cough-) So don't fret :) **

**FYI: I think this will be a 5-6 chapter-story... or maybe more... Haven't really decided yet. Please let me know if you think the pace is too fast or too slow! All reviews are truly appreciated :) -getting on with it-**

**----------------------------------- **

**Operation Seduce Sirius  
**

The atmosphere in the Great Hall had changed. It was all too quiet.

Remus and James were walking next to each other towards their house table for breakfast. This was not unusual. It was not nearly enough to cause the students around them to succumb to silence. However, Remus Lupin and James Potter, walking towards their house table, _holding hands_, was enough to make almost every head in the Hall turn to look at them. But Remus Lupin and James Potter couldn't care less. They were all too busy giggling, exchanging looks, and all too interested in one particular person's reaction. This person being none other than Sirius Black.  
James abruptly stopped in the middle of the Hall, tugging on Remus's arm, jolting the blushing boy into a tight embrace.

"Oh my, James." Remus giggled teasingly. "What would the teachers say?"

James thoughtfully brushed back a string of hair from his friend's face. "I think they would say something like: There goes a lucky man with his werewolf… And of course they would be jealous of all the crazy, mind-blowing sex we _must_ be having."

"Shhh!" Remus hushed, pinching James lightly on his arm. "They might hear us!" Remus put on his best "seriously-be-serious"-face and looked James straight in the eyes. "James… I can't see anything but the entrance… is Sirius..?"

"Looking at us?"

"…Yeah."

"Well…" James squinted. "Peter looks like he's been snorting milk out of his nose, which he probably _has_…" Remus dug his nails into the palm of his friend's hand. "Alright, _alright,_ I'm getting there!" He squinted once more, taking his time.

"Crap." he finally managed to croak.

"What?" Remus thought all their plotting and planning had come to and end.

"He looks _pissed_."

Remus flinched and was about to turn when James stopped him.

"No!" he hissed. "You can't look at him now Moony… And by Merlin, wipe that smug look off your face!... This isn't funny!" Actually, James did seem kind of worried, which made Remus worry as well.

"James, what's wrong?"

"I… I think he wants to _kill_ me…" He whimpered. "…Oh my _God_. He's seriously going to kill me!"  
Remus snorted. "Sirius wouldn't kill you, you prat."

"Well _you _can't see the look on his face, can you? You would think I was an equal to Snivellus!... Oh _bludgers..._"

"What? What's happening?" Remus could feel James's body twitch nervously.

"He's coming this way, damnit!" He quickly wiggled out of their embrace, but still held Remus's hand tightly in his own. Remus could finally see why James was so distressed. Sirius was walking, almost _prowling_, towards them, looking as menacing as the grim reaper himself. The two of them just stood there, watching Sirius closing in on them. And finally, he was there, towering above.

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. "Hi, Sirius… er… what's up?"

Sirius glared at the werewolf for a brief second before turning his intent gaze upon James.  
"I was wondering the same thing, actually..." If looks could kill, then the one he was giving James would've stabbed the poor boy right through the heart, twisting the dagger.  
James tightened his hold on Remus's hand. Sirius, noticing this, narrowed his eyes in a way that would've made a harpie shiver. Without thinking, he snatched Remus's hand away from James's and held it securely in his own.

Both boys' eyes widened at their friend's action. But James wouldn't cave in that easily.

"What do you think you're doing!" he rigidly took back the hand which he felt was somehow 'rightfully' his. The battle of the hands had begun.  
Sirius gruffly tried to seize the limp hand of the boy standing in between, but James held it beyond his reach.

'_If James is going to be a prat about this…'_ he thought_, 'then so am I.'_ He took a small step back, and flung his hair back, like a whip sounding through the air.  
"You tell me."

James's other hand made for his head, ruffling his hair like he always did when he was cornered or nervous. Sirius seized the opportunity to take possession once again over the soft hand they were fighting over. At this point, James couldn't care less if Sirius really did want to kill him, which he probably did. Nostrils flaring, he took a step forward, standing barely an inch away from the black-haired boy's face. "Give me _my_ hand back."

Sirius snorted. "_Your _hand? Don't make me laugh, Prongs." He sneered. "This isn't _your_ hand."

Now it was James's turn to sneer. "Well, what if it _is_?"

For a fleeting moment he saw the intimidating façade of Sirius Black falter. Remus felt it too. Even if it only was for one second, he felt Sirius loosen his grip on his hand, only to tighten it more fiercely than before, almost hurting him. He took a sharp intake of breath, realizing he had been holding it during all this time. But before he'd managed to return his breathing to a normal pace, Sirius feebly let go of his hand.

"_Fine."_ He growled between clenched teeth. _"Fine!"_ That being his final words, Sirius stalked out of the Great Hall, muttering incoherently beneath his breath, and roughly shoving other students out of his way.

They both stood dumbfounded for a second, watching as Sirius disappeared. Remus finally shook himself back to reality, and dragged James with him, forcing him to sit down and eat. James still seemed quite shaken, but started acting like his normal self once he'd begun shoving food into his mouth.After clearing his plate, he leaned back with a look of outmost content.

"Well that was quite the experience, wouldn't you say Moony?"

Remus didn't answer. He was deep in thought. Until now it had been James who had concocted their little schemes against the fellow Marauder. Now, he felt, it was his turn to advance.

"Why the smug look on your face?"

"Eh?" Remus hadn't realized that he'd been showing all his emotions on the outside. "I was just thinking…" he let his grin speak for itself.

-----------------------------------------

If James Potter hadn't been so occupied fearing for his life, he would've noticed that the eyes of his friend Padfoot weren't the only ones which had been shining with rage during the little encounter in the Great Hall.

One Lily Evans, the supposed love of his life, had been sitting at the Gryffindor Table, watching the whole thing. She had been somewhat baffled when she first noticed that they were holding hands. Then her face turned into one of confusion at the gentle embrace James had given Remus. Slowly, but firmly, the confusion had turned into one of pure, genuine fury. Soon enough her eyes were shooting daggers at the boy who had done nothing but pester her with his "love and devotion" every single time they met.

If Sirius's look could've killed, then hers would've maimed, and then thrown in a couple of hexes and unforgivable curses on top of that. Then maybe, _if he was lucky enough_, she would've finished him off, before jumping gleefully on his mutilated corpse.  
As the two boys sat down by the table, Lily quickly stood up and walked unnoticed out of the Hall. She didn't know how much longer she could resist the urge to hex James into oblivion, and as a Prefect, it would be rather unfitting, she thought.

She slumped down into a chair in the library, taking out her Potions notes. But it was already too late, when she noticed she'd ruined her perfectly functioning notes with small scribbles and drawings of a certain boy with glasses, getting hit by a bludger in very awkward ways. She groaned, putting her head into her hands.

'_Why is this getting to me?' _Sure it was nice not to get mentally molested by Potter every time they met. But he'd been alarmingly distant during the last couple of weeks. Too polite for his own well-being, she thought, but also _cold_.

'_Well,"_ she thought soberly. _"At least now I know the reason for it. James likes Remus."_ Even in her head it didn't sound right. She choked down her laughter.

'_James? Like Remus Lupin? It's preposterous!' _

Now, having had the time to cool off, her rational mind began to take over again. There had to be something she was missing. Her mind started playing the scene in the Great Hall over and over again. But her eyes had been so focused on James that she hadn't seen nothing but him… Then realization dawned on her.

'_Oh God…'  
_

Very unlike her usual behaviour, she banged her head against the table, thankful that no one else was there to see it. _'This is _not_ happening. I do _not _like James Potter! I do absolutely _not _like that harassing, four-eyed, conceited git! I like-…' _ But she was cut of by another annoying voice in her head. _'But James doesn't like me anymore… he likes Remus.'_

But still, there was something wrong. _'James can't like Remus…I have to make sure of it.'_ A hint of a smile reached her mouth. _'James never could turn me down before, what makes me think he will now? At least it's worth a try…'_

And with that, she left the library, and walked towards her first lesson, Potions.

-----------------------------

Sirius intentionally avoided his friends all day. During classes he yanked Peter away, dragging the boy to sit with him at a table as far away from the two remaining Marauders as possible. Every now and then he cast fuming glares at James. Said person, had recovered admirably since breakfast, and made it his business to keep a firm hold of Remus's hand whenever he got the chance. But, he always made sure that Sirius noticed.  
Sirius, of course, noticed. He hadn't really figured out why he noticed, but he was confident that being angry at James was somehow justified.

The day came and went without any further incidents. Sirius had even continued to avoid his friends during dinner, and had walked around the castle until he thought it would be safe to go up to the dormitory to sleep, without having to bare the sight of James's – '_probably sweaty' _he snorted – hand clutching Moony's delicate one. He shuddered at the audacity, and entered the dorm. He regretted it instantly.

Peter's curtains were shut. _'Probably already asleep…'_ Then his eyes came to linger at Remus's bed. It was empty, and looked as if no one had been sleeping in it for ages. Before Sirius could come up with a reason to why Remus wasn't asleep, he heard muffled sounds from behind the curtains of James's four-poster. Sirius stood confused for a moment, before he could make out who the voices belonged to.

'_What are James and Remus doing in James's bed? Moony's never been in James's bed before… well… never **alone**.' _ He listened intently, trying to hear what they were doing. Afterwards, he wished he hadn't.

"I loved holding your hand today Moony…" James's voice, and Remus's giggles, rung out from behind the curtains. "You have _such _nice hands…"

Sirius staggered backwards, almost hitting the door.

Remus continued to giggle. "Well Prongs, you know what else hands can do?" The last part was a whisper, but Sirius heard it as clearly as he had been spoken to, face to face. He also heard the unmistakeable sound of sheets being ruffled, and James's hefty laughter.

"_My my_, Mr Prongs. I didn't know you were ticklish over _there…_Let's see where else you might be ticklish, shall we?"

Sirius jolted backwards so hard he hit the door behind him. He looked around, eyes livid. He grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of and threw it as hard as he could at the four-poster. Not wanting to bare the consequences of his actions he forced the door open, and rushed out of the dormitory as fast as he could.

As the door slammed shut, James's flustered head poked out from behind the curtains.

"He's gone." He said, voice filled with glee, as his head returned to face the fellow Marauder. "That was _brilliant_, Moony. Bloody brilliant!"

"It had quite the effect, hadn't it?" Remus chuckled as he fiddled with the pillow Sirius desperately had thrown at them. "Think we can risk taking off the Silencing Spell from Wormtail's bed yet?"

"Nah, leave it. As long as we remember to wake him up in the morning."

"I suppose…"

"Moony…"

Remus looked up into James's friendly face.  
"He'll come around. I _promise_ you." Before adding, not all _too_ friendly. "He's about to crack. I just _know_ it!"

Remus smiled.

-----------------------------

It was Saturday. James had been shining with his absence during the whole day, but Remus didn't really care. Tonight was the full moon, and he was busy lying in bed all day, gathering his strength.

"Hey Moony."

Looking up from his book, Remus sees Sirius enter the dorm and throw himself on his bed opposite of Remus's.

"Hullo." He says, turning back to the pages. He hears Sirius sigh heavily. He rolls his eyes, but puts the book down just the same, and shifts to look at his friend.

"What's wrong Padfoot?"

Sirius meets his gaze swiftly, before looking up to continue his examination of the ceiling.  
"Er…nothing."

Remus snorts. "Nothing is it? And that's why you're giving up the chance to harass me while I'm enjoying this," -he taps his fingers on the book- "utterly _tedious_ piece of literature? I don't think so. Now spill it."

Sirius gives him a hesitative smile. "Well I was just thinking… about tonight that is..."

"And?"

"And if I should be there, or not."

"What?" Remus sits up, a worried look creeping upon his fair features. "Aren't you going to be there? You _are_ going to be there right?"

Sirius hadn't expected Remus's voice to sound so hurt. He too sits up and smiles reassuringly at the boy in front of him.

"Of course I'm gonna be there! I just thought… well that, maybe you didn't want me there…that's all."

"Then don't scare me like that! And why wouldn't I want you to be there? I mean… Padfoot is the most important thing in the world to m-…to Moony." He blushes, dearly hoping it doesn't show as much as it feels. "Now may I please return to my book?"

"Hah! You would think so. But no." Before he knows it, Sirius's hand has locked itself in a tight grip around his wrist. Remus meets the grey eyes, which he is surprised to see, are merely an inch away from his own.

"Er…"

"Do you have the nerve to think that I will leave you in the hands of that 'utterly tedious piece of literature' as you so well put it? Oh you _are_ mistaking."

Remus throat has gone uncomfortably dry, he thinks. He makes an attempt to lick his lips instead, which only results in an impish grin from the other boy.

"Er…" he tries again.

"You've been up here all day. And James is missing. I've been so bored and _lonely_, Moony. Lonely!"

"Might do you some good." Remus croaks.

"No." Sirius shakes his head. "Nothing good can ever come out of being bored and lonely. I shudder to think about it. The horror!"

"Oh come off it Padfoot. And don't give me those eyes!"

"…"

"…"

"…_please_?"

"Arrgh. Okay. Let's go do something _fun_ then."

"Kitchens are fun? And someone's got to take care of you. You haven't eaten anything all day. You might wither up and die. Not eating can do that to a man…Come on." He says while pulling Remus up from the bed, dragging him by his wrist. When they reach the portrait-hole, however, they run into a rather dazed-looking James, hair more ruffled than usual, and a rather smug-looking Lily Evans.

"Out of the way, Potter!" Sirius shrieks as he bumps into his friend's shoulder.

"Ouch! Hey! Where are you two going?" James shouts back.

"Kitchens!" Sirius answers. "See you tonight! Dorm! Eight o'clock sharp! Be late and I'll hex you!"

Remus only has time to give the two dazed figures an apologizing look before he gets pulled away and out of sight.

---------------------------------

**A/N: YES! I feel like a good person, getting this chapter _finally_ posted. Sorry for the long wait. Been busy, all I can say. Problem is I'm going away for a little more than a week and won't have the time to commence Phase 04 for a while.. It's bad! But it will be finished, eventually ;)**

**And it has come to my knowledge that you cannot answer reviewers? Okay, so be it then… You can however submit your e-mail if you happen to have any questions. **

**It won't stop me from giving you all a great load of T H A N K S and hugs for the LOVELY reviews I've gotten so far:D I get all happy and giddy every time I check my mail :) And if I'm sitting in school I start laughing and smiling like a complete dolt and everyone ask me what's up… and then I have to tell them I write fan fiction á la RemusxSirius and they never understand… but you all understand! And it's lovely :) Just wanted to say. Now be gone with the rant. –hugs to all- (and keep on reviewing :)**

** --------------------------------  
**


	5. Phase 04: Serious Snogging

**Operation Seduce Sirius – Serious Snogging**

-------------------------------------------------

"_Remus!"_

Remus grunted.

"Come _on_, wake up!"

Remus grunted again, a little more loudly this time, in an attempt to make the highly annoying figure hovering over his up-until-not-so-long-ago sleeping figure to _bugger off_. He realised it was a lost cause when the figure jumped up on his bed and started hopping around instead. Forcing his hair away from his eyes he sat up at came face to face with James. A grinning James, hair sticking out in more directions Remus had ever thought possible for human hair to do. He made a mental note to congratulate James for managing the impossible.

He yawned. "What do you want Prongs?"

"Want? What makes you think I want something?" He looked awfully cheery. And a little too smug. The smugness instantly put Remus on his guard. "I mean-" James said rhetorically, "what could a man that already has _everything he's ever desired_, possibly want?"

Remus was dumbfounded. He didn't have any idea what James was on about. James rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Oh _come on_ Moony. You know this!"

He should know, Remus thought. But James couldn't possibly expect him to answer riddles this early in the morning. James's impatience grew, and Remus was sure his friend was going to burst if he didn't figure it out soon.

"Oh bugger this." James muttered. Then his grin grew wider than ever. "She kissed me!"

And with that finally said, he started, once again, to hop around on the bed, all the while chanting "She kissed me! She kissed me! She kissed me!"

Forcing his mind to work, Remus finally put the pieces together. His grin grew nearly as wide as his friend's.

"She did? That bloody wonderful!" James stopped hopping and looked at Remus. "Yeah. I know." He sat down, jamming into Remus's legs in the process, and started to give a very thorough account of what had happened.  
Apparently Lily had, with subtle force and amazing cunning, according to James, figured out what was going on. In other words: kissed him and forced him to tell the truth. Remus huffed. James was as transparent as his invisibility cloak. Lily hadn't forced him one bit.

"I love this plan…" James pretended to sniffle. "It's so…brilliant." And Remus had to agree.

Lily had also told James that she would agree to keep their relationship secret for the time being. Though, Remus thought with a smirk, that one reason for this was probably also because she'd have to come to terms with the fact that she was indeed _dating_ James Potter. But…_Black needs to realise it before it's too late_ she had said.  
And if Lily believed that they were on to something when it came to Sirius, maybe Remus could believe it too.

-------------------------------------------------

Remus and James came down to breakfast, holding hands in their usual manner. The only difference was that James, to Remus's utter horror, almost seemed to strut. It wasn't a pretty sight. Sirius cast a rather nasty glance at James before he covered it up quite nicely, and everything was back to normal. Well, as normal as life for the Marauders ever could be. But the whole day progressed nicely in fact. Until forth period that was...

"Where's Moony?"

"He'll meet up with us in a minute, Wormtail."

The Marauders, with the exclusion of Messr. Moony, were waiting outside their next classroom for said boy, who was on his way from Arithmancy. Peter spoke up again.

"Are you two really together now?"

"Hm? What did you say?"

"I asked if you know, you and Moony. You're dating right?"

James chuckled. "Yes, we are." He shifted his position slightly from where he was leaning against the wall, so he could see Sirius reaction to what was said in the corner of his eye.

"But isn't that kind of weird… We all thought you fancied Lily." James saw Sirius's frown deepen as the conversation progressed.

"Yes well, things change." James said with a wry smile.

"Oh come on!" Sirius snorted.

"Why do you say that, Padfoot? You don't think I'm serious with Moony?"

Sirius huffed. "S'not like you've done anything besides holding hands. Or _maybe"_ Sirius lip curled in a smile that was anything but pleasant. "Maybe Prongs here is holding out."

"Oh Padfoot…" James said with an infuriating calm and patronizing tone. "It's called a Silencing Charm." Sirius paled. James smiled.

"Hey there's Remus!" In a quick motion James took off from the wall and started walking to meet the figure who was coming towards them.  
Remus frowned and walked a little more slowly, James had that look in his eyes that could only mean mischief…

"Hi Prongs… what's happening here?" he said. James stood a couple of steps in front of him. Instead of answering, James cocked an eyebrow, took a deep breath, plunged forward, and kissed Remus squarely on the mouth.  
Remus gasped, but quickly caught on and started, albeit awkwardly, to kiss James back. It was hesitant, no hands and thankfully no tongue, but it was a kiss. After a few seconds James drew back and fixed his glasses. Remus flushed.

"Er…" Remus said.

"Yeah." James answered.

"Uhm…"

"Er…" James cleared his throat. "That was nice. Must do it again sometime."

"…Right." Remus answered without much conviction.

They turned around to look at their friends. Peter's body was hanging like a lump, mouth open and eyes wide from shock. Sirius however, had slid down the wall, arms hanging limp on his sides, staring with haunted eyes into the opposite wall. When James and Remus stepped in front of him, he quickly got up, shoved past them, hitting James hard in the process, and bolted off.

"Hey Sirius!" James called after him. Remus however, dislodged his hand from James's and ran after.

"Padfoot!" No answer.

"Sirius wait!" he caught up and grabbed Sirius by the wrist, turning him around. Panting he said "Why'd you run like that?"

Sirius looked from Remus to his wrist and back again. "Why did you come after me?" he answered in a cold voice and a sneer. "You and James seemed to have _so_ much fun."

Remus mouth opened and closed before he could answer. "We… well, class is starting." said. The sneer disappeared from Sirius's face.

"So that's how it is then…" he barely whispered. "It's not like you really _care_ what I do… or feel for that matter…"

The embarrassed flush that crossed Sirius's face made it painstakingly clear that the last sentence wasn't one he'd meant to say out loud. Remus's mind was working frantically. But before he even had the time to consider a proper response, Sirius had dislodged himself and scattered away with an amazing speed.

"Well, at least he _feels…_" Remus soberly said to no-one in particular.

-------------------------------------------------

Very reluctantly, one step at a time, Sirius Black walked up the stairs to the boy's dormitory, where he and the other three Marauders slept. One part of him was mentally preparing to walk in on his best friend and his, he swallowed hard, _boyfriend_, and their lovey-dovey state. The other part of his brain was simply ignoring the situation and demanded that he walk up the stairs anyways. It bothered him to the core that he, first of all, couldn't feel an ounce of happiness for the two of them, and second, that Remus, _Remus_, had let it happen at all. It was all very confusing, and _deeply_ disturbing.

He stood in front of the door and braced himself. For a moment he even considered knocking but quickly rejected the thought. It was _his_ room too. He would _not _knock on his own door. Even so, he opened the door one inch at a time, and listened very carefully for any awkward noises. He heard none. Feeling very relieved he pushed the door open and entered. The room was empty, which was rather unusual for this time of the evening. His curiosity taking the better of his not-always-so-good judgement, Sirius walked up to the dressing table and pulled out the Marauders Map. Looking down on it he tapped the Map with the tip of his wand, and muttered the necessary spell. He watched as the whole of Hogwarts revealed itself on paper, and couldn't help but smirk at his and his partners in crime's ingeniousness. It felt a little bit odd to be using the Map against his fellows, but he had to know if Remus was being shoved up against a wall or molested in an empty classroom by _him_. It was his duty to casually walk in on them if that were to be the case. He spotted the dot labelled Messr. Moony almost instantly. Remus was cooped up in the library, but he was alone. An odd occurrence, Sirius snorted. He let his eyes wander, not paying much attention to the dots of students making their way back to the dorms in time for curfew, and the caretaker and his cat patrolling the corridors. He saw Peter's name in the kitchens, not an odd occurrence, at least. But he too was alone. Where was James?

Sirius carefully searched the school with his eyes, and suddenly stopped in disbelief. James was spending his time in an empty classroom. The difference was that he _wasn't_ alone. The dot next to him, all too close for comfort, was labelled _Lily Evans_. What on earth would Lily have any business with James? And in an empty classroom this late in the evening! Sirius had to see for himself. Muttering beneath his breath, he set out in a high pace towards their hiding place.

-------------------------------------------------

He got there without much difficulty, consulting the Map every now and then. Peter was still in the kitchen in the same spot as before. Remus had walked back to the dorms in time for curfew a couple of minutes ago, but James and Lily where still inside the classroom, right where Sirius was. Their dots were as close to one another as ever, and Sirius could only think of two things dots that close could do. It was all very unsettling.

He checked the door with his wand to make sure it wasn't locked, and opened it as silently as he could.  
As soon as he was sure of what he had seen, he forced the door open with a bang. James reeled, shocked by the noise, and even more shocked by Sirius standing in the doorway, looking fit to commit murder.

"_Bugger"_ he managed to say.

A flushed Lily came to his aid "Sirius, this isn't-" But Sirius ignored her, his attention fully focused on James.

"You _goddamn_ bastard. Who the _fuck_ do you think you are!"

"Sirius listen!" James stood up and hurried over, trying to regain his composure, flattening his tousled hair, and failing abysmally.

"Shut up _Prongs!_" Sirius spat, his figure literally shaking with rage. "I don't have to listen to you, I fucking saw it!" Without hesitating, Sirius swiftly took the few paces which separated the two of them, and punched James squarely in the face. Ignoring the surprised squeak from Lily, he looked down on James's sprawled figure on the floor, taking in the tiny bit of satisfaction in seeing the blood coming from James's nose.

"This is, without doubt…the _worst_ thing you have ever done to me, James Potter."

He left them there, determined to find Remus, to explain, but explain what exactly, he didn't know.

-------------------------------------------------

The way back to the dorm didn't go as smoothly. In his hurried state, he was almost caught by Mrs Norris, cursing that the bothersome thing wouldn't leave him alone. He was more cautious after that, and after what was only a couple of minutes, but felt like hours, he reached the dorm in which Remus was.

The boy in question was putting away some books in his trunk when Sirius entered. The greeting died on his lips when he noticed the dishevelled state his friend was in.

"Sirius…is something wrong?"

Despite himself, Sirius couldn't help but give a small bitter laugh at the concern in Remus's voice.

"Everything…" he whispered.

"That's not an answer and you know it." Remus chided, though with a soft tone to his voice.

"I-" he began. "…I saw James." '_As if that explains it.'_

"Yeah, I've seen him too." Remus tried, and managed to get everything but a happy smile from his friend.

"That's not what I meant Remus…" Sirius leaned back against the door, trying to figure out what to say, what to do. He was fighting hard to keep his agitation in control.

Remus took a few hesitant steps forward, but abruptly stopped as Sirius control ran out.

"He's a _fucking_ bastard Remus! I took the Map, to see if you were with him, to see if you two were- and…" There was venom in his voice, and Sirius knew he was rambling, but it was too late for him to stop. "And I saw them, together!"

"Saw who?"

"James and Lily that's who! I know about them!"

Sirius felt as if Remus crumbled in front of him. He wasn't saying anything, but his eyes were full of disbelief.

"Oh…" was his only response.

Sirius wanted to do something. Something more to explain, to make the unsettling feeling in his stomach disappear, to cure that helpless look in Remus's eyes. Something to make Remus respond with more than an "_Oh_". He thought of James, of what he had done to Remus, and to him. Sirius did the only thing that he could think of. He pushed himself off the door, and before the boy in front of him could react to it in any way, Sirius had captured his lips with his own.

It wasn't a romantic kiss. It was a kiss full of desperation, of need and helplessness. Even so, Sirius felt everything falling into place. This was the way it should've been from the very beginning. It was then he realised that Remus hadn't pushed him away, though he wasn't really participating either. Sirius shivered as Remus regained a little bit of distance from him, not wanting it to end just yet, but anticipating what the next one would feel like. However, by the look on Remus's face, he wondered if there would be a next time at all…

Remus looked as if he was torn between smiling or crying, but there's no mistaking the hurt in his eyes, and what's more, Sirius realised, _anger_. Did he really like James that much? "Remus…" but the boy cut him short.

"Did they explain? Is that why you are doing this?"

"Explain what? Remus what are you talking about?"

"You said you know, Sirius! Surely they must've explained the situation?" Remus was agitated, but he had to know if the reason for Sirius kissing him was because of love, or only because he had felt obligated to. Sirius hold on his arms tightened, and his aggravation was evident.

"Do you really think I'd let him explain? I bloody saw him _kissing_ Lily! The bastard is cheating on you!"

Remus cleared his throat, a little bit too awkwardly. "But that… yeah… I mean, then… why did you kiss me?"

Sirius drew one hand through his hair in an act of frustration.  
"Remus… I've had enough of this. I've put up with a lot during these last weeks… but _hell_ Moony!" he nearly shouted now. "I will not just sit there and watch while my best friend is cheating on the person I love!"

For a second, there was only silence. Remus put Sirius on end when he suddenly smiled, and Sirius was very unnerved with the mischievous glint in the boy's eyes "Padfoot…. What did you just say?"

The stark realization of what had just happened hit Sirius like a brick. "Erm… well, you see…"

"Do you love me?" The question sounded odd, and it was even odder still that Sirius could only think of one answer to that question.

"Maybe… er… I mean. Yes. Okay, I love you Remus. I do."

"Why didn't you say something?"

Sirius felt like he'd backed into a corner. "I didn't realise… I guess… The only thing I knew was that every time I saw you two together I couldn't stop thinking about how wrong it was. And how angry I felt." His eyes grew fierce then, looking straight at the boy in his arms. "I don't care if you still like James or not, Remus. He is a two-timing bastard and he deserved what he got." He growled.

"Sirius…" Remus was suddenly worried. "If they didn't explain, what did you do?"

"What do you think I did? I punched his lights out!"

Remus looked like he was on the verge of fainting. "I only punched him once!" Sirius began to rectify. "I had to! He was bloody cheating on you…"

At this, a strangled noise erupted from Remus's throat. Then, to Sirius utter surprise, he started to laugh! Startled, Sirius pushed Remus away from him, keeping the chortling boy at an arm's length.

"Oh _Merlin._" Remus composed himself. "Poor James…" He failed and started to giggle again. He put both arms on Sirius's shoulders and took a deep breath. "Sirius…" he said. "James and I were never a real _couple_."

Sirius just stared back, a blank expression on his face "What?" he croaked, voice hoarse and disbelieving. "But you… you held hands! And all the flirting… You even kissed!"

"We…er… actually only did it because I was in love…with you." Remus blushed slightly, trying to explain. "We thought that if we could make you jealous, you'd finally realise how you felt. James said he was sure… and I went along with it." He snorted. "You can get awfully jealous you know." Sirius only stood there, looking at Remus, but not really seeing.

"I think I need to sit down for a bit..." he finally managed. And indeed, he was quite shaken up. _Mortified,_ would really be a more appropriate word for it. "_Buggering bludgers_…" He sat down on the nearest bed, and immediately covered his face with his hands.

"Padfoot…" Remus knelt down next to the bed and started to run his fingers through the dark strands of hair. "It's okay…"

"Bufdih'ddim…" Sirius mumbled into his hands.

Remus sighed and forced the hands away from Sirius's face. "Say that again will you?"

"But… I … hit…him. And with Lily there too!" He flung himself backwards on the bed. "I can never look him in the eyes again!"

Remus stifled a laugh. "I bet you it isn't that bad. And mind you, he knew what he was doing. It was his idea after all…"

"It was!" He rapidly sat back up again.

"Yeah." Remus smiled at the effect the statement had on snapping Sirius out of his self-pity.

"Hmpfh." Sirius was now eyeing him a look which made Remus feel like he had a sign hung around his neck which said: "Property of Sirius Black" on it.

"I bet he just wanted to get into your knickers."

Remus laughed rather nervously, not entirely comfortable being the subject of "into-knickers-getting". His discomfort rapidly disappeared as he got pulled up from the floor and fell tumbling into Sirius's arms.

"But that's all over now isn't it?"

"Hm? What is?" Remus inquired.

"You and Prongs…"

"Of course." Remus smiled. "You're the only one I ever wanted. Prongs just helped you realize you wanted me too."

"Well _I'm sorry…"_ Sirius murmured into Remus's ear. "Sorry for being... well... _me_. You know. A jerk and being utterly daft and so on…" he looked at Remus, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Remus couldn't help but smile back.

"Apology accepted." He planted a swift peck on Sirius's nose. "It was like watching the master at work. Honouring really."

"You flatter me…"

"No I mean it. Honestly. Even James was fascinated by it." He smiled in a playful manner. "But that's all over. I bet James is happy now that you've _finally_ come to your senses." He frowned a little, but the smile was still plastered on his face. "I really should send him a thank you-note. Or at least _you_ should. Along with the 'Sorry for punching your lights out-card'."

"Mmm…" Sirius murmured into Remus's hair, but Remus did not miss the implied deviousness of his next words. "But I don't think a card is good enough. I should send him flowers, or something better really..."

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Yupp OSS is still kicking, dunno what happened really, it's been a year since I last updated it or close too… Anyways I hope you lot haven't abandoned me yet! If you loved it/hated it let me know, it always brightens my day (well… not the hating bit.) Cheers :)**


	6. Phase 05: The Day of Giving Thanks

**Operation Seduce Sirius - The Day of Giving Thanks**

Sirius Black was in a ponderous state. He had been like that ever since he'd "come forth" in front of his now friend-cum-lover Remus Lupin. It had all been concluded in the best possible outcome for the two of them. So what could possibly be troubling his mind and leaving him thinking about bothersome things? Well, the problem was that there were _issues_. Firstly, he'd been reduced to lurking in the shadows, stealthily eluding, or in reality as it was, flat out avoiding one James Potter. Second of all, this had been going on for five days, and living in the same dormitory, taking the same classes, and basically being two peas out of one pod, didn't help very much. He knew that his behaviour was quite obvious and he'd run dangerously close to the risk of being confronted on several occasions. Every time he glimpsed or accidentally ran into James, Sirius saw that a confrontation was indeed nigh, and he breathed a sigh of relief every time James ignored the problem for yet another day. Remus Lupin however, did not seem equally pleased.

"Don't tell me you're still embarrassed about punching him? Because I promise you, he'll think you've done some even more horrible things behind his back if this… this _lurking_, keeps up."

Sirius winced, a sick sort of twist that Remus found awkward, and very beginner's like. "It's not that simple." Sirius facial expression returned to the more normal sulk.

"Why not?"

"Well," he hesitated "you know me Remus."

"Yes…" Remus said while thinking the exact opposite, because he had no idea what Sirius was getting at.

"I can't just go up to him and say "Hello Prongs, what's up? Life's treating you well since I nearly broke your nose? Oh and by the by, a huge thank you hooking me up with Remus. We are very much happy recreating and coupling in our dorm when you are off with Lily. And how is she? I've been avoiding you, you see, so I wouldn't know-"

Remus put up his hands. "Stop. I get it. Just stop." He paused. "So what do you want to do?"

"I've been thinking about that."

"Thinking? _You_?" Remus leaned back on his hands were he sat on Sirius's bed in their dorm.

"Don't get smart with me Remus John Lupin. I'm a master in the fine art of sarcasm."

"Hmpf. Very well, please do continue."

"Let's give him a bit of a surprise. Say next Saturday. We can easily get the remaining Gryffindors to chip in for a lot of Firewhiskey. And for the first years; Butterbeer." He rolled his eyes towards the heavens.

"You mean a party in the common room?"

"Right on. Hey, why are you laughing?"

"It's nothing, really. I'm just a bit relieved." Sirius cocked a questioning eyebrow.

"I thought you were gonna do this big gesture in the middle of the Great Hall." Remus explained. "A howler, or a standing homage to Prongs or suchlike. I'm just happy you have some sense left in you," he said and snickered.

"Oi! What did I just say about getting smart?"

"The horrors of retaliation, I'm ever so scared."

"That was disgustingly sarcastic of you."

"Your observation ability is amazing," Remus said unrelenting. A hint of a growl erupted from Sirius's throat at the continued teasing from his lover. He stood up so that he towered over the sitting boy.

"You're doing this to set me off, aren't you?"

"Oh I'd never dream of it." Sirius leaned forward, eyes narrowing. "Never even crossed my mind actually," Remus continued, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. By now Sirius was looming so close their faces almost met.

"Shut up." The words came as a deep growl from the back of his throat. Remus took on the challenge and put up his chin in a pertinent manner. Smiling deviously he said, "Make me."

Sirius understood perfectly; this battle was his loss. Not that he minded what Remus was implying, but the thoughts that came spinning into his head and very quickly travelled further lower in his body to firmly settle there, did not really seem as enjoyable if Remus would keep quiet during it's proceedings.

"You truly know how to rile me up don't you," he said, and pushed Remus slowly but with enough force to pin him down on the bed and settled himself on top of him.

"And get you off too, I hope," Remus said while fumbling with the zipper on Sirius pants.

Sirius bent lower and murmured his reply close to Remus ear "Hrmm, most definitely…" and let the rest of the sentence trail off into kissing.

----------

"Sirius is a moron." That was the greeting Remus received when he some time later sat down in front of James in the Hall for supper.

"How can I-" he caught himself and instead thrust his fork far out in front of him pointing at Remus, "How can _you_! How can you stand being with such a moron, imbecile, and everything else that is the _stupidest thing_ in the world!"

Remus eye twitched.

"Uhm..." Remus found himself without a proper answer. He hadn't really counted on finding a fuming James, irresponsibly waving forks around. But he had a reason for coming here, so he said "But Sirius – I mean, not Sirius, I meant to say me," he corrected quickly. "For Sirius doesn't want you to know anything of or about him, and it really would be best for you to forget he ever existed, but _I_ need the map. For personal use."

"_You_ need it? What for?" James said shortly.

"To check for, um, private places. Or not." he added, just to give James's brain something to try to block out from imagining, thus keeping it too occupied from prying, all because Remus was bad at making even worse excuses.

"If I give you the map, you absolutely have to promise to keep out of the dorm. I _know_. Fifty minutes ago I _knew_." Remus restrained himself from smiling, remembering what James thought he knew. That poor brain had handled enough for one day, and no need for him to make things worse at this point.

"You have my word."

James scowled, but obligingly handed over the map.

"My sincerest thanks."

"Umpf."

Even though the hall was crowded, it seemed like a bubble of some impenetrable silence had formed around them, and Remus picked at his food. When he couldn't stand it any longer he said, "So, where's Peter?" and cleared his throat in an awkward way.

"Detention," James said reluctantly. "We tried this thing." He paused. "Well, anyway it all kind of went wrong."

"And…"

"Sirius and I do that kind of thing all the time!" James exclaimed. "Trying to mess up each others spells and potions, or experimenting as we like to call it, and then the other one has to try to fix it before it sometimes, uh you know, blows up." Remus knew all too well what James meant, seeming as it had been concluded a long time ago that Remus wasn't the sort of person who indulged in that kind of experimenting. Once, late in their first year, they'd tried to include him in their mischief-making during class, but all that came out of it had been panicked students, a blown up cauldron and landing all four of them in detention. Remus opened his mouth to comment, but James cut in before he had the chance.

"But Sirius, being a moron, wasn't even in class today, and if he was I sure as hell didn't see him. I'm beginning to think the teachers are in on it. Letting him attend other classes for the sole purpose of keeping us apart. But they'll miss us when we're out of here. Their lives will be all dull and only teaching and nothing will ever be exciting anymore."

Remus doubted it, but kept it to himself, because another thought interfered.

"James." James shut up from his grumbling and looked at him.

"Don't tell me that you're lonely?" It was ridiculous, Remus thought, because it hadn't even been a week since "the Incident". Then again, it had started even before that. But judging from the look James gave him, the ridiculous thought wasn't far off.

"I am not," James denied instantly.

"You're sure about that?" Actually Remus felt a bit guilty, knowing how Sirius felt about what had happened, but not being able to tell James anything, even though it was thanks to him anything had happened at all. Apparently it had showed in his voice, because James jaw relaxed in a miniscule motion.

"Okay. Maybe a little," he confessed between his teeth. "But look, I don't blame you for it or anything. It all worked out, in fact worked out very well for the three of us. I've not been sitting idly with nothing else to do now, have I?" The implication was too obvious to miss.

"So I take it everything's going well with Lily?"

"Don't look so incredulous. I am a very caring, gentle, and not to say extremely handsome boyfriend."

"I believe you." He laughed. James and Lily were still an unofficial couple, but James said it didn't bother him that Lily wanted to wait before "shouting out to the world that she was madly in love with James Potter". Besides, it was already noticeable to their closer friends, and surrounding students who cared enough, that Lily somehow had warmed up to him, and Remus guessed they weren't going to be very surprised when an official exclamation finally came.

----------

Remus checked once, twice, that there wasn't anybody around when he unlocked the map. He found Sirius fairly quickly, an unmoving dot in the middle of the empty Prefect's bathroom. He sighed, he should never have given him the password, he thought, and went straight there.

"Hello there sexy. Come on in and take your clothes off. This is a bathroom after all," Sirius greeted him. He was sitting on top of one of the sinks, dangling his feet over the floor and smiling at Remus who barely had made it a couple of feet inside the room. Baffled, Remus stood and stared for a moment.

"You certainly don't have any clothes on," he collected himself enough to say.

"I certainly don't," Sirius said, totally unabashed. "Well, it's not as if I'm completely naked," he added and pointedly looked down at the towel tied around his waist. And as if to compromise his own words of "not completely" he dangled his feet jovially in even higher arcs, rendering the towel completely useless as means of cover to his more private parts. Remus quickly averted his gaze.

"You did that on purpose," he said while staring with great determination at the white tiled wall.

"Oh come on Remus," Sirius said amused. "It's nothing you haven't seen before." Still refusing to look at the grinning boy in front of him Remus stayed silent, trying to keep himself from getting flustered. He had seen it all before, but he found the sight of Sirius's bits dangling along with his feet a bit too much for embarrassment. Sirius sighed and hopped off the sink. He went straight up to Remus.

"I have the map," Remus said.

"That's great," Sirius replied with not so much as a hint of real interest. He seemed more focused on sniffing Remus on the neck and shoulders.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"You need a bath," Sirius said triumphantly.

"I took a shower this morning." Remus didn't know whether to feel offended or embarrassed. "As I always do."

"Maybe you engaged in some vigorous activity some time this afternoon." Sirius started to remove Remus tie. "And unless my memory fails me, which would be strange because I do believe I was present at the time-"

"Sirius."

"-means that you're in need of a bath."

"I didn't lock the door. Someone might come in." Sirius ignored him and continued to unbutton his shirt.

"No one will come. To be honest I don't think anybody would dare."

"What?"

Sirius laughed. "I'd forgotten to tell the door to not let anybody in except you. Took one look at me and scampered right away, that Ravenclaw bloke or whoever did. Probably told the whole world by now that a stark naked Sirius Black is barricading the Prefect's bath."

"He saw you naked?" Remus said, while in reality he wanted to say something more in the lines of "How long have you been _in here_ naked?"

"Only my dazzling backside, nothing too explicit."

"Ah, he got the good view then," Remus bit back. _No dangly bits_, he added in thought.

"Ooh. I always knew you preferred it that way. You pervert." He grinned. Remus shrugged off his shirt and put it aside along with his tie. He stepped closer and let his hand trail from Sirius stomach to rest on his chest. Sirius put his arms around Remus's neck and traced his fingers in his hair. They kissed.

"So, a bath?" Remus said. Sirius smiled.

"I can scrub your back if you want."

----------

Sirius took a quick peek around the doorframe before stepping out of the Prefect's bathroom and into the corridor. He clutched the Marauder's Map in his hand, but alas, you could never be too sure. There were many dots running about every-which-where, and only so much paper to fit them all. He refused to let his eagerness be the cause of him missing a dot somewhere and ruining the chances of the "Homage to James"-party, as he referred to it, being one with alcohol, rather than without. Plus, he added while being honest with himself, the bath earlier had somewhat left his mind in the gutter. _Yeah_, he thought and checked the map for reassurance. Safety first. He proceeded with great caution, as far as the concept went with him, towards the statue of the one-eyed witch.

When Sirius had gone, Remus was left in charge of the castle. This meant spreading the word to the Gryffindors and some others that something, of some sort, very similar to a party type of activity, was to take place in the Gryffindor common room at Saturday. In other words – to get the rumour spread in the most inconspicuous of manners. And being inconspicuous was something he took great pride in excelling. He'd already rallied Peter as the one in charge of fetching snacks from the kitchen, and the rumour seemed to spread nicely. And soon enough Saturday evening was approaching and everything had gone according to plan.

----------

Needless to say, James was exceptionally surprised when he entered the common room followed by Lily later that night. She'd been, along with Peter, Remus's most trusted accomplice, and had easily kept James from the common room while the preparations had been made.

"I didn't even have to lie," she said to Remus. They were standing to the side, looking at the crowd which held James and Sirius at its centre of attention. She sighed and smiled. "All I had to do was say 'Let's go' and like, do this…" She made an inclining movement with her hand. Remus chuckled. He looked up at the floating banner ahead of them and the sparkling words "Congratulations James Potter!" As soon as James and Lily entered the room, the crowd had erupted in cheers. James was so dumbfounded that he didn't even notice Sirius pouncing on him and hugging him until his bones almost cracked.

"It's not my birthday," he managed to wheeze out. Sirius let go of him and held him at arms length.

"Is that all you have to say after I went through all the trouble to set this up?" he said, his eyes gleaming. Sirius slung an arm around James's shoulders. "Obviously I know it's not your birthday," he said. James put his askew glasses back in place.

"Is this your way of saying you're sorry?" he asked.

"Hmm, could be," Sirius replied. James seemed to think it over for a moment.

"Remus thinks I've been lonely," he admitted at length.

"Oh? Is this your way of saying 'apology accepted'?" Sirius smile was crooked from the angle James looked at him.

"Could be," James answered. "And besides, it looks like I'll be having two birthday parties this year."

"Calls for a celebratory drink, yeah?"

"You bet."

Sirius took a deep breath and called out to nobody in particular, "Oi! A drink for the birthday boy! And two for me!" A second later they both held drinks in each hand. James mumbled his thanks to a couple of third year girls, whose names he didn't know, who'd walked up to him saying "happy birthday" with genuine smiles and a few nervous giggles. He turned back to face his friend, who'd already emptied one of his glasses.

"Now drink up lad," Sirius said with a grimace of a man who had tasted something bitter, but albeit satisfying. "We have lots of celebrating to do and only so much time to do it in."

"Right you are. Let's get sloshed, yeah?"

"Cheers to that."

Remus had from the beginning kept himself out of the epicentre which was Padfoot and Prongs, and the shockwaves of the rumbling crowd. He was content standing to the side chatting with Lily and sipping his drink. Tonight, with all that was, he didn't feel like losing his better judgement on which he usually had a very tight grip. That was why, when Remus saw his intoxicated boyfriend take one wobbly step up on a chair and shout over the crowd, he could only think one thing: _Oh hell. This does not bode well._

"Attention all!" Sirius bellowed across the room. "No celebration is complete without a celebratory speech! And as the self acclaimed toastmaster, this little task was set upon me, by me," Sirius inebriated voice boomed out.

"I only have one thing to say; and that is congratulations James!" He made a theatrical pause. "Congratulations on being the best mate a man like me could ever have, knowing me even better than myself. A toast!" The crowd held up their glasses.

"And also, congratulations for finally hooking up with the girl of your dreams! Cheers mate!" James face instantly lost its entire colour. From how consecutive gasps and whispers instantly erupted from the crowd at this revealed information, the meaning of Sirius's statement hadn't gone unnoticed. The only exception was Sirius himself who winked down at James. James however, looked as if in a state of pre-panic. His face still totally white, he looked back and forth from Sirius to Lily. Remus dared a glance to his side. He'd expect Lily to be furious, or at least a bit irked. Sirius on the other hand, was only confused.

"What?" he looked down at James and the bustling crowd. "What did I do?"

"W-what did you do?!" James spluttered. "You-… _you_!" he grabbed Sirius by his tie and yanked him off the chair. "We hadn't told anyone yet! She's gonna kill me!" he spat.

"What?! You've been going out for over a week!" Sirius choked out, his tie still in the clutches of James balled-up fist.

"I was being _patient _and _understanding_. I was waiting for her to tell everyone she was madly in love with me," James said with his voice both sounding of menace and panic. He looked at Lily who still stood unmoving a couple of feet away. "Lily, I didn't…!" he wailed. "This isn't-!" Unable to find the right thing to say, because there really wasn't anything he could think of saying to save the situation, James turned back to focus his indignation on Sirius. "You've ruined everything!"

"I did?! How the fuck was I supposed to know!" Sirius bit back angrily. "I've been bloody avoiding you!" Their voices started to reach the level of an all-out brawl. Remus was on the verge of going in there to stop them, but then…

"Bollocks that! If you'd spent less time snogging Remus every-bloody-which-where, and paid more attention, you'd notice such things!" James shouted. Sirius took a sharp intake of breath. Remus froze. The room had gone quiet before James's voice rung out, but now the on-lookers erupted in gasps and whispers again. This time however, Remus was included when the crowd looked back and forth from him and Lily to Sirius and James, seemingly trying to decide which couple to focus their attention on. To his side, Lily sighed.

"I guess we have to put an end to this before they do." She looked at Remus and explained, "It wasn't like I didn't want to tell people… I just wanted to see if he was mature enough not to," she said, smiling impishly. "Though this has totally blown out of proportion," she grimaced.

"Uh…" Remus found he had no voice to answer in.

"Come on now," she said and put her hand on Remus's shoulder. Remus sighed too.

"Isn't it easier just to let them hex each other into oblivion?" _Then all this might go away_, he thought in resignation. Lily's mouth twitched in something that could've been a smile.

"Tomorrow, we'll make them wish they did. If not the hangover does." Feeling a bit better by the prospect of this, Remus followed her. Like the Dead Sea did for Moses, the crowd parted to let them through to get to their respective partners. Oblivious by their surroundings, Sirius and James were continuing their argument throughout.

"…and we have not been every-which-where! Sirius retorted.

"Don't think I don't know! I know everything! My bed!" James snapped.

"Ooh," Sirius said forebodingly. "Should I tell you exactly what we did on your bed, James Potter?"

"Argh! You didn't?!"

Sirius leaned forward and bored his eyes into James's.

"Three times."

"You bastard!" James shoved Sirius backwards as he let go of the hold he had on him and was just about to reach for his wand when…

"James Potter!" Lily's stern voice scolded as she went up to him. James hand stopped in mid-action as he froze.

"Hah!" Sirius mocked and was about to say something more, but Remus interrupted him. "Sirius! Be quiet." Like James, Sirius froze. He looked over his shoulder and saw Remus standing there, looking extremely displeased.

Sirius mouth had gone very dry all of a sudden.

"Shit," he croaked.

Lily turned to Peter who stood by the crowd.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, but I'd recommend you sleep on a couch or elsewhere for tonight." Peter nodded his okay.

"I guessed as much," he sighed.

"Come on James. We're leaving." She took his hand and started to walk towards the portrait hole.

"I'm not finished with him!" James said indignantly.

"Yes you are," Lily said unrelenting.

"No he's not! You don't just run from an argument!" Sirius said.

"Sirius Black," Remus said. "I strongly suggest you let it go and come with me. Now."

Sirius hesitated. But seeing as James was being half-dragged through the portrait hole, Sirius huffed, turned on his heel, and followed Remus up the stairs to their dorm.

"Remus…" he said sheepishly as he caught up to Remus's retreating back. Remus said nothing and held the door up so that Sirius could enter. He shut it behind him.

"Hey Remus…" he tried again. Remus sat down on his bed and leaned his back against the wall.

Sirius snorted, not liking how Remus didn't even answer him. "So what? You're gonna tell me how much trouble I'm in?"

Remus rubbed his temples with his fingers. He wanted to know how Lily planned on handling James, because he had no idea how to handle Sirius.

"Sirius, I don't want to argue. There's been enough of that already."

"But you want to say something, right?" Sirius probed, not letting it go.

"If you're referring to earlier, then yes. I admit being a bit peeved about you and James shouting in front of everybody just exactly where, and how many times, we've done it."

"So you're not mad that I got us 'outed' in front of well…everyone?"

"Oh please. We were never 'in' to begin with, or at least I wasn't. But holding hands in the corridor isn't the same as shouting out that I got you off three times in James's bed… That's private."

Sirius shuffled his feet, thinking that he may have gone a bit overboard.

"…Four times."

"What?"

Sirius squatted by the bed and stroked Remus's leg. "You got me off four times," he said, with guilty eyes searching Remus's for forgiveness, "we only had sex there three times though…"

Remus tried to find a connection between the way Sirius was looking at him and what he was saying and found none.

"…Which honestly isn't something to be ashamed of," Sirius continued. "I mean, in reality you should be proud." Sirius smiled as he saw the blush creep upon Remus's face. His hand crept beneath the fabric of Remus's trousers and stealthily travelled as high as it could. Remus swallowed.

"What're you doing?" he tried to sound stern, but it came off short. "Sirius you're drunk."

"I can still get it up."

"Wha-?! Sirius!" Remus felt his whole face go red at Sirius's total lack of decorum. "That's not what I meant!" He tried to shuffle away from Sirius's touch, but it got him nowhere as he already had his back against the wall. Sirius counterattacked by creeping up on the bed. He moved himself even closer and pulled up Remus's shirt from his pants.

"Talking about having sex with you, just _thinking_ about it, is enough for me to…" Sirius touched Remus's stomach. He didn't have to finish the sentence. Just by looking, Remus could tell how aroused Sirius was, and he felt himself get pulled into the mood. He started touching Sirius back, who in turn sighed contently and leaned into the caresses. Sirius looked at him with eyes glazed from lust.

"Remus… I love you. I want you."

"You're drunk," Remus said, this time his voice tender and without any reprimand. He leaned forward to kiss Sirius, put his arms around him, and they lay down together.

----------

Sirius woke up the next morning and immediately wished he hadn't. His head felt like someone had poked a wand in there and stirred around in the contents. Slowly he opened his eyes. He was in Remus's bed, and Remus was lying next to him, still sleeping soundly. The air inside the four poster's curtains was suffocatingly warm, and smelled of sweat mixed with other bodily fluids. _I definitely remember _that, he thought sweetly, as he lay still while the memories from last night returned to him. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry and his mouth tasted like flobberworm had crawled in and died there.

"Water," he mumbled. "I need water." _And a toothbrush_, he added in thought. Reluctantly he sat up, located his boxers and put them on while trying not to wake up Remus. He found his pants and shirt tossed by the bed, grabbed them and sneaked out from the curtains.

"Good morning," said a voice.

"Huh?" Sirius said, caught by surprise. He squinted – his eyes not used to the bright light of day – and saw James sitting cross-legged on his bed. "Mornin'…" he croaked. Sirius felt quite like a reindeer caught in the headlights of a muggle car, or so he thought the saying went, standing naked but his boxers, holding his pants in one hand and his shirt in the other. James gave him a look.

"At least you had the decency not to use my bed," he said. Sirius grimaced.

"Uh, yeah. About that…I'm-" he started, but fell into silence as James stood up and motioned for him to be quiet.

"You know," James started. "I have a bloody hangover from last night. And if I have one, then you certainly do too. So I was thinking you should put your pants on, and join me for lunch."

"Lunch?" Sirius questioned.

"It's already noon." Sirius mouth made an "oh".

"So last night…?"

"As far as I'm concerned, nothing good will ever come out of the two of us not speaking to each other. So let's not do that again, yeah?"

Sirius broke out in a grin.

"Shake on it?" he held out his hand.

"Wash your hands first, and I'll think about it." James grinned too.

"Just give me two minutes." Sirius laughed silently and hurried into the bathroom.

"I wrote a note for Remus saying where we went," James said as Sirius came back a minute later.

"Thanks mate," Sirius said. "We can bring him back some food if he doesn't come down."

"Sure, come on now. We have lots to catch up on."

"Yeah," he said. Let's go." They closed the door silently behind them as they left the room.

**End.**

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**A/N: This is (supposedly) the last instalment of Operation Seduce Sirius. I am however thinking about moving this to my LiveJournal, and adding an epilouge (Rated R...)**

**Thank you, everyone who has read, enjoyed and reviewed! Honestly, it has been so much fun, even though it took me so long to get this far. Please do the same for this chapter :) And I'll "see you soon." Cheers and Happy Holidays.  
**


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